15 minutes of "mom"

I pulled in front of the park at exactly 10:59. Not only had I arrived on time (can't remember the last time that happened), but I had remembered to grab everything I needed to be out with the kids at a birthday party for the morning. I even had a card for our gift, and one I didn't have to pay $4 for (that is very rare thing for me). I was freshly showered, legs were shaved (which lately is a rare thing since I can barely reach my feet these days), and i was feeling more "together" than I have in months.

Then I start to deboard us from the car to the party. And the fun started.

As I am unbuckling Arwyn and collecting anything on her side of the car that I might want in my bag at the party I feel the sun beating down on me. I decide to put sunscreen on her. Everywhere she turns her head her pigtails swish into my fingers full of white greasy sunscreen."Don't turn that way, Please" I say patiently as she listens and turns the other way getting her other pigtail coated in sunscreen. We finish, and she hops down with our gift in tow.

I have her wait on the other side while I get Malachi out and am finishing collecting my needed items. Extra diaper and pants, in case Malachi has a bad potty training day while playing at the park, wipes, camera, kleenex (I am 4 days into the worst cold that I have had in quite some time, and am at the stage that my eyes water and nose flares, without warning I am shooting snot all over my myself). I start to apply sunscreen on Malachi and he too does the turning away while I am trying to rub it in, but luckily much to his dismay this morning he didn't get any pigtails. A little bump in the road but were ok. Then I unbuckle him and my hand gets soaked in "wet". "Malachi, did you go pee in the car seat?", He mumbles something inaudible and I know my answer. I put him on the ground and feel HOW soaked the seat is, he emptied his bladder in it. Off with the shorts and underwear, yes we are outside. Arwyn tells me she has to go pee too, and I tell her she is going to have to hold it till we are done with him. But this park has no bathroom close, so I am bending over squishing my third child and gasping for air while trying to get his soaked shorts and underwear off while I am also trying to get air in my lungs, and going through the potty options in my head for Arwyn.

Malachi is naked from the waist down and Arwyn is starting to dance around me in a hurried hyper state. "Arwyn can you stop please?", I am getting perturbed. "Mommy I really have to pee!". I see she can't hold it any longer, so I abort "operation Malachi" and leave him naked on the lawn, while I yank her underwear down and hold her in a squatting position to pee on the grass. YES, i just said that. She pees for 5 whole minutes, at least that's what it feels like. Then Malachi says " Mommy I have to pee, too". Is it possible that the puddle in his carseat wasn't everything? I don't want to risk getting peed on so I flip him around and aim him and say go, he waits and grunts and pushes, and releases a tiny dribble down my hand. FINE. I flip him around and start to put his emergency diaper on and pants that luckily I brought, when I am interrrupted by a sneeze of my own, my bladder doesn't hold completely. And now I am joining the pee party. The whole audience of people who were on time and now have been enjoying there nice cold beverages in the shade must be enjoying this spectacle.

I blow my nose and return to dressing my son and by now I can't wait to just be done bending over. Arwyn is done, Malachi is done, my bag is packed and I am nearly ready to leave the car and walk 20 feet to the party, now 15 minutes late. But I sneeze three times in a row and this time my bladder doesn't hold quite at all. Evangeline has more room to move around now, and instead of clean, "together", and on time, I am all sweaty covered in pee from each family member. I manage to lock my car and get over to a lawn chair where I remain most of the time, instead of taking adorable pictures of all the cute kids in the park.

I might have left the party BEFORE the kids started to do the nap time melt down, except that I couldnt really peel myslef out of a chair for the next two hours. It was PARTY time!