It's time for a new blog

So as you can tell I have been having trouble with blogger... from here on out I will be posting at my new site www.truedefiance.wordpress.com .As you can see the only thing different in the address is WORDPRESS. Hope to see you there!

The things that happen here

I was on bath duty tonight. Vange was up first. She developed a love for drinking bath water (YUK!) while we were in LA, so I have to keep a close eye on her. She was trying to dip her finger in the tub water and taste it. "MMMM..." she would say. I was correcting her making it clear that bath water here is a big NO. Especially her because they don't vacinate for typhoid till 2 years old here, so it is a big risk.

Arwyn and Malachi came and were talking with me and laughing that I had previously "shot" myself in the head with the shower and the top of my hair was dripping wet. I got distracted by them, Vange saw her opportunity and guzzled a bunch of water from the rinsing cup, I looked down right in time for the loud burp. AAAHHHH! NOT OKAY.

Once I got her out of the bucket and sent to daddy to get clothed I asked him to crush up two cloves of garlic and get her to eat them raw. A few months back I accidently drank a whole glass of water that I later realized was tap water and I ate 5 cloves of raw garlic, wich is good for the tummy and recommended by some other friends who lived in India. I never got sick.

While I was bathing Arwyn I smelled food. With my ultra- pregnant sniffer, I determined that our take out had arrived. When we got out of the bathroom I heard Josiah say that he was waiting for the food to arrive. "whats that food smell?" I asked confused. He snet the Garlic breathing baby dragon over to me to breathe on me. Her breath put Stinking Rose to shame. It reaked the whole house. I was wildly impressed that he got our one and half year old to choke down raw garlic.

Thinking about the stinking rose got me craving Italian but we settled for Garlic Nan and Aphgany chicken!

Hopefully tomorrow is not too hot or else baby dragon will be sweating Garlic all day.

Yesterday I was in the kitchen and Vange came in, "Arwyn cying (crying), " she said sympathetically " I sad!"

AWWWWE!

The search is on

Josiah woke me up this afternoon from a nightmare. He was on the computer next to me and heard me start to cry, in my sleep. I actually started to cry once i woke up. One from relief, and two from the horribleness of it. Basically in the dream, barring all the bizarre surrounding details, i gave birth premature to the new baby. It was in an egg like a normal chicken eggshell, but had a hole in the egg, but the rest was intact. Inside was my 12 week baby, who didn't make. I will spare you the dream after that point cause it was just gross and horrifying. But what had me crying was the fear that plagues any woman that has had a miscarriage, having another.

You must be guiltily snickering at this dream because of how the baby came out, or you might have overlooked that part and be sympathizing with my looming fears. Either way, I don't blame you. It was strange.

But I couldn't go to sleep after that so i got up and got on the Internet and started "googling" all my questions. We are taking a short trip to Agra tomorrow for a day of rest and swimming at a swanky hotel. My questioned googled was "why can't pregnant women go in the spa?" Just for my reassurance and information before i am faced with the temptation of it. I found this among all the opinions, to my horror. " its like boiling a hard boiled egg".

I quickly abandoned that search and started researching birthing in India. Shortly after we found out about baby number 4, we decided we would have it in India. Millions of women do it. Delhi has great medical care. I don't have complicated births, so far. But I know nothing of what is protocol here. Because its a different culture, they will do things differently. Like epidurals used to be routine for every women just 5 years ago, in the US. There will be things that are routine that are just "different". I want to be prepared for this. My knowledge of Indian Doctor's so far is that they tend to be condescending. The opinion in India, because of caste and so forth, is that Doctors know and you don't, so dint question and don't refuse. Well if any of you know me that just wont fly, If I differ in opinion. But on the flip side I don't want my last birth experience, and I do mean last, to be stressful from arguing profusely to get my wishes.

As I started reading different things and "attempting" to research what I was in for I came across this article, the third being my worst nightmare experience here. I also came across this birthing center called "The Cradle" that was the complete opposite of those stories and my mind was soon eased that if I got to one of these, I would safe and have a wonderful experience. But then I came to locations, and was sadly disappointed that they don't have one in Delhi. So then I started searching for birthing centers as apposed to hospitals and found nothing.

The problem is I am just not a researcher. It is not my strength. And if you are reading this and it is your strength and you feel compelled to research for me, I would be FOREVER grateful!

Surprises

We are back from our visa trip to the states and we encountered a few surprises along the way.

1. We mailed off our applications for change of visas on a Monday and got them back that same Friday! We were delighted to have the rest of the three weeks stress free.

2. Arwyn had a surprsie visit from her friend Reese for 2 days. It was a great fun filled time for them. It was so great to see Arwyn have such fun with a girlfirend that she loves so much. Our time in India has been difficult for her not making any girlfriends. Little girls are hard to find outside the home, once we do they tend to be older and not much in common with her play wise, and the language barrier prevents so much at this point. Seeing her let loose and loving the company with such a special friend was so great! Thanks for making the special trip Reese!

3. We are expecting a 4th baby end of October! Below is an ultrasound that we took the day before we returned (The Wednesday before last). The baby is 10 weeks in the video. Below is a picture of Josiah holding a model (true to size) baby at 12 weeks wich will be this coming wednesday. I am feeling very tired and nautious but good other than that. Last night Josiah was reading Pilgrims Progress to the kids before bed on our bed and I fell asleep, at 8:15! I didn't get up till 8 this morning and after I got up and got ready and cooked breakfast, I was ready for a nap:) We were surprised by this lil one but are welcoming the change in plans and the new adventure of having a baby in India. 4 kids! seems crazy sometimes!

Arwynism

A: "we did something troublish "
Me:"what?"
A:"jumped off the shelf into my bed..."
Me: i got the look of discipline in my eye...
A: she got the look of "why did i just tell on myself?"
Malachi: "well, nice trouble..."
turing to go before something bad happened to him...
Malachi: "lets go get into some more nice trouble"

Vange is 1 1/2

 

Over a week ago our littlest turned One and a half.

She loves to dance and sing in to the microphone. She brings laughter and smiles to us daily.

She is very passionate about food. She runs around the house saying "Pookh! (hungry) or "bread". Which is why I have to keep a stash on hand of bananas, mini bread rolls, and "biscuits" (cookies). Recently Josiah figured out the trick to lowering my stress level while trying to meals together. He puts her on the counter with a bowl of some kind of treats and she happily sits and munches while he or I cook in peace.

She is the "spice" of our family. Currently we are working on her not hitting her brother and sister, spitting, and saying "no" to mommy and daddy. But when she is reprimanded she is SO remorseful colapsing on you and crying her heart out. As soon as she is forgiven she is back to her defiant behavior.

She melts our hearts with her requests for hugs and abundant cuddles. Cracks us up with her dancing and singing.

The other day I was laying her down for her nap and she said "pray mom". So we prayed. She has just started saying her own "thanks God " prayers, so cute!

She loves spicy food. I just started getting her to drink milk. Mainly because she wants to do what her sibs are doing.

When I am holding her and talking with someone else she takes both hands and turns my head towards her. She demands full attention most of the time.

When she feels like "hot stuff" she spreads her fingers out and rubs her thumbs against her sides and struts with her head up high.

She is always pushing the limits. And we can't imagine life without her!

What do I love...

When we first arrived in this city I was overwhelmed by the dryness. The dirt, the dust, EVERYWHERE. I instantly, desperately missed the ocean. The cool breeze, fresh air, blue water. I challenged the Lord to show me an ocean here that I could grow to love. Little by little I get to expereince a new ocean, each time it feels like a fresh wave has washed over me.

Seeing a bright green tree on my rickshaw ride. The shape was like that of a Cypress tree reminding me of the coast. It was a stark hello from Him amidst all the dark dusty trees here.

While having my friend over and her 10 family members, I served an american dish. "Pepper? Salt?" and I went back in the kitchen and smiled at some complete opposites between hosting in America and hosting here, The Lord reminded me that I could just enjoy that I had this great friend to come to my home for a visit and she feels comfortable enough to correct my cooking. For that I smiled.

The warm breeze that has settled on our city makes every rickshaw ride enjoyable.

The afternoon sunlight that comes through our bedroom window.

Hospitality is unmatched here. Dropping by anyone's house whenever I want, I will always be greeted with a smile and cup of chai.

The patient people in my life that are willing to see past my limited speaking ability and invest in a friendship that will only deepen with time and fluency.

My new friend that was right under my nose all this time. She is tenacoius enough to still talk to me even though I dont understand much. She is willing to take me places and teach me how and where to get things. She just brought by a cute little outfit that her daughter made for Vange (pictured below), and when leaving invited herself over for chai tomorrow. I loved it! There is no other word that I can think of to describe her than jovial. I suspect that she will have much to teach me about the joy of the Lord.

The dividing wall of hostility

I have been wrestling with an issue for quite some time. It is a very complex and very pervasive in our human condition. But even more so in India. It all comes down to pride. The very thing that got Lucifer kicked out of God's kingdom. The very thing that separates us from God, and each other. Self.

Today I had another, of many experiences with this issue of "who is is better? Who makes up "us" and who makes up "them?" I get questions all the time why are you talking to that person? he is lower cast. Why do you let your children play with those children? they are bad. I get the looks when I let my precious baby be held and kissed by our dear friend the rickshaw-wallah. It's like I am watching my child roll around in feces and I don't care. Why do you let them come into your home, they are lower cast, uneducated and ignorant? They are a bad influence.

Every time it makes me angry. My heart gets heavy. It's not like this is only India's problem. I experienced in America to. I knew people that refused to go to Walmart cause "those" kind of people were always in it. Or church members that didn't want me to bring my interns from an risk program (that the church was sponsoring) to go to Sunday services, so they wouldn't mix with there own children. It made me just as mad. I know this is an anger that is from the Lord. But what do I do with it? How do I speak up in love and not shame people? But cause them to wrestle with there prejudices and choose love instead?

Jesus was accused of hanging with the utmost scum. And his response was that he came for the sick not the ones who thought they were already good enough.

But the ones who think they are already good enough are sick as well, they just don't know it. And this is not an issue that I can solve in one night , or at all.

For some reason God has given me this passion to reach out to people on the fringe. To treat everyone with the same amount of respect. To include everyone. Maybe that is one reason I am here. I have always been uncomfortable being a part of exclusive groups or being around people that are drawn to cliques. I just don't see Jesus interacting with people like this in his time. The kingdom of God is not exclusive, there are no hierarchies. There is no class. There is God and his creation. And he loves us all equally. "He sends his rain to fall on the righteous and unrighteous".

How I can communicate this to my friends in a way that inspires them to wrestle with it?

All dressed up

 

This girl LOVES:

food
singing
dancing
bangles
purses
bikes
hats
chapstick

and well anything that seems to be "grown up"...

The morning we were leaving for our little adventure a town away, I was packing and she came in sportin her purse, bangels, and hat.

My heart is tickeld when hear "MOM, boggles!" (bangles)

Roof parties

 

 

 

 

A visit to my friends house last week was spent mostly on her roof. In the evening everyone is out on their own. It is even ok to not wear a "dupata" on your head, because it is your own home, even though everone can see.

Boys are flying kites.

Ladies chatting, doing laundry, even washing themselves up.

This evening was nice complete with an invitation to visit her home town in two days.

That is the slideshow below.

Vange-isms

 

 

I remember when Arwyn and Malachi would eat thier meals of spaghetti shirt-less in there high chairs.

You can see that Vange is enjoying her's. But the weather isn't permitting shirt-less enjoyment.

Our first meal of spaghetti with meat sauce (ground goat) was celebrated greatly. Complete with Garlic bread and bruschetta.


Today Vange was wandering around the house whining for a delivery of lunch.

Being the great big sister that she is Arwyn went and fetched her blanky and binky.

Unfortunate for Vange I had to revoke them. I reminded Arwyn of the rule that they are to be crib bound and asked her to retreve them and put them back.

The binky is only for nap time (not because I am one to think it will ruin her speech) because if she sucks on it too long she gets a nasty rash around her mouth. The blanky is confined to bed because outside its walls it becomes a great refuge for all the dust in the house, which in India is UNBELIEVABLE.

As soon as she was robbed of her precious cargo she turned to me raised her hands, palms up and side by side and cried "MOM, HUG!"

To which my heart broke into a few thousand tiny pieces and I scooped her up for cuddles.

Ocean front property

 

This is a sunset view from our bedroom balcony.

Not Quite Bodega Bay, but were not complaining.

PB &J Pizza

What do you do when you can't cook local food and you can't get ingrediants for your native food?

You make this splendid dinner.

J found a nice bakery that has muffins, cookies, and this flatbread that works quite well for pizza crust.

But we didn't have an oven yet, or cheese which is a must.

So the Pb and J came out and the kids raved!

Favorite photos of my recent adventure

Vange-isms

"Boog Boog" (we have colds around our house)
"Nack" (snacks are looked fwd to more than meals)
"Hot Coco" (we have been having a lot lately in this weather)
"I cold"
"coo coo" (chickoo is a special Indian fruit)


Favorite thing to eat: bread
Favorote thing to steal: batteries out of Daddies bottom drawer
Favorite nap items: binky and blankie
Favorite stuffed animal: the lil hippo Grandma got her
Least favorite time of day: diaper changes
Favorite attention getter: "bonk!" as she points to whatever she "might have" bonked to collect some sympathy

This little firecracker has got to do everything her sibs are doing. We have entered the MAJOR leagues in the tantrum department when she is not allowed a certain liberty. We love hearing the growing vocabulary she adds to our conversations daily. Tonight she entered the kitchen while I was cooking dinner and I handed her some trash and asked her to take it to the trash. So she did. Then I let her take napkins to the table to help her sibs set the table and she did that too. She proceeded to strut her pride in her abilities by walking and flinging her arms hautily at her side. She may be a spoiled one in the making but we love her so!

Some Firsts

Here is a list of First's that we have been experiencing in our household:
1 Cooking Goat meat
2 Making Goat meatballs with spaghetti
3 Finding out neither were goat but water buffalo
4 revertng back to birds and cooking Corn Flake chicken
5 starting a Google search for recipes and seeing this pop up half way through as top "how to" searches":

how to:
get pregant
download you tube videos
lose weight
impress a girl
kiss
hack facebook account
develop road safety culture
gain weight
download vdeos from you tube
hack a gmail password

Whatch out you Facebookers and Gmailers, there are hackers on the loose!
6 Hiring someone to clean my tiolet
7 Cooking by candellight
8 going to dentist in 7 years
9 getting a cavity filled
10 not leaving the house without my modesty items: bangles, head scarf, nose ring
11 consuming 3 jars of 40 0z. each of Peanut Butter in less than 3 months
12 automatically answering my husbands questions in another language

A dose of India = a dose of honesty

I'll be honest tonight.

If I had a twitter update to give you it would say something like "I'm cursing like a PG sailor". Well, not really. I am only saying "freakin" as an adjective about every OTHER word.

Our new life here has SO many adjustments that waves, sometimes Tsunami's of "culture shock" come crashing in. Pretty sudden, sometimes feirce. This one's a mildly sized wave. I'm not quite sure how it snuck up on me. It's not like I am not happy. Josiah and I are doing very well. We joke and laugh throughout the day. We are more affectionate than we were in the states because any affection is forbidden outside of our home. It's nice.

But India still wears on me. At least when I get heavy doses of culture that clash with my own. I find myself thinking "This NEVER happens in America." I know, that sounds pretty ethnocentrically snotty. But it's true. And that is one thing about this culture that I will embrace, people will tell the truth even when it sounds horrifically rude or blunt. And they will ask ANYTHING.

How much did you pay for your new fridge?
Why doesn't your kid like me?
How much money do you make?
What kind of birth control do you use?
Why won't you pay me more?

and the list goes on.

But to give a "buffered edge" I will coat my complaints in the context of "You know your in India when..."

1. You know your in India when you order three pieces of furniture to be delivered today at 5pm and they come at 9:30 pm three days later.
2. You know your in India when the newly arrived furniture arrives all beat up from the rickshaw ride over.
3. You know your in India when only 2 out of the three pieces of furniture arrive and one of them is not the color you ordered.
4. You know your India when the managers says it will be promptly delivered tomorrow morning, only for tomorrow be a holiday and no one shows up, and you have to call back and ask about it 3 days later.
5. You know your in India when the delivery boy wants you pay a delivery fee AND a fee to carry it into your house (even though he brought it up an elevator most of the way).
These next one's may surprise you...
6. You know your in India when you are wearing 3 pears of pants, 2 pairs of socks, 3 shirts and a down jacket under your 3 blankets in bed because it's in the mid to upper 40's in your bedroom because there is no insulation or heating system.
7. You know your in India when your husband has to go buy three space heaters because the low tonight will be 38 degrees.
8. You know your in India when they get plugged in and start heating up the room, the circut box overloads and catches fire and all your power goes out and your newly bought heaters are useless.
9. You know you are in India when you are not surprised because everything else in your house seems to malfunction within the first week of moving in.
10. You know you are in India when you fall alseep every night to the sound of street dogs barking and howling for a few hours.

Those are most of the reasons why I am feeling "short fused" tonight(except that my fuse box in real life just melted). I just had one too many straws that broke this camels back.

Stay tuned for when I am over it and I have a list that shares with you the things I love about India. Because, if I'm being honest here, I do love things about India.

Malachi-isms

 

"Arwyn, I have a heart that loves you" - chi

Me: did you know that God kows you and loves you more than I do?
C: I want you to know me more.
M: He knows everything you think, everything you feel, everything you will do and haven't done yet, everything you do when you think no one is looking.
C: you mean he saw me when we where in the restaraunt that I just got my toy at and IF I stood in the corne and took my pants off, he saw that?
M: DID YOU TAKE YOUR PANTS OFF?!?!
C:I'm just sayin.

a little later in the same conversation...

C: How does he see all that?
M: I dont't know, He is God so He is able to.
C: I think he opens the clouds and peeks down.