The dividing wall of hostility

I have been wrestling with an issue for quite some time. It is a very complex and very pervasive in our human condition. But even more so in India. It all comes down to pride. The very thing that got Lucifer kicked out of God's kingdom. The very thing that separates us from God, and each other. Self.

Today I had another, of many experiences with this issue of "who is is better? Who makes up "us" and who makes up "them?" I get questions all the time why are you talking to that person? he is lower cast. Why do you let your children play with those children? they are bad. I get the looks when I let my precious baby be held and kissed by our dear friend the rickshaw-wallah. It's like I am watching my child roll around in feces and I don't care. Why do you let them come into your home, they are lower cast, uneducated and ignorant? They are a bad influence.

Every time it makes me angry. My heart gets heavy. It's not like this is only India's problem. I experienced in America to. I knew people that refused to go to Walmart cause "those" kind of people were always in it. Or church members that didn't want me to bring my interns from an risk program (that the church was sponsoring) to go to Sunday services, so they wouldn't mix with there own children. It made me just as mad. I know this is an anger that is from the Lord. But what do I do with it? How do I speak up in love and not shame people? But cause them to wrestle with there prejudices and choose love instead?

Jesus was accused of hanging with the utmost scum. And his response was that he came for the sick not the ones who thought they were already good enough.

But the ones who think they are already good enough are sick as well, they just don't know it. And this is not an issue that I can solve in one night , or at all.

For some reason God has given me this passion to reach out to people on the fringe. To treat everyone with the same amount of respect. To include everyone. Maybe that is one reason I am here. I have always been uncomfortable being a part of exclusive groups or being around people that are drawn to cliques. I just don't see Jesus interacting with people like this in his time. The kingdom of God is not exclusive, there are no hierarchies. There is no class. There is God and his creation. And he loves us all equally. "He sends his rain to fall on the righteous and unrighteous".

How I can communicate this to my friends in a way that inspires them to wrestle with it?

All dressed up

 

This girl LOVES:

food
singing
dancing
bangles
purses
bikes
hats
chapstick

and well anything that seems to be "grown up"...

The morning we were leaving for our little adventure a town away, I was packing and she came in sportin her purse, bangels, and hat.

My heart is tickeld when hear "MOM, boggles!" (bangles)

Roof parties

 

 

 

 

A visit to my friends house last week was spent mostly on her roof. In the evening everyone is out on their own. It is even ok to not wear a "dupata" on your head, because it is your own home, even though everone can see.

Boys are flying kites.

Ladies chatting, doing laundry, even washing themselves up.

This evening was nice complete with an invitation to visit her home town in two days.

That is the slideshow below.

Vange-isms

 

 

I remember when Arwyn and Malachi would eat thier meals of spaghetti shirt-less in there high chairs.

You can see that Vange is enjoying her's. But the weather isn't permitting shirt-less enjoyment.

Our first meal of spaghetti with meat sauce (ground goat) was celebrated greatly. Complete with Garlic bread and bruschetta.


Today Vange was wandering around the house whining for a delivery of lunch.

Being the great big sister that she is Arwyn went and fetched her blanky and binky.

Unfortunate for Vange I had to revoke them. I reminded Arwyn of the rule that they are to be crib bound and asked her to retreve them and put them back.

The binky is only for nap time (not because I am one to think it will ruin her speech) because if she sucks on it too long she gets a nasty rash around her mouth. The blanky is confined to bed because outside its walls it becomes a great refuge for all the dust in the house, which in India is UNBELIEVABLE.

As soon as she was robbed of her precious cargo she turned to me raised her hands, palms up and side by side and cried "MOM, HUG!"

To which my heart broke into a few thousand tiny pieces and I scooped her up for cuddles.

Ocean front property

 

This is a sunset view from our bedroom balcony.

Not Quite Bodega Bay, but were not complaining.

PB &J Pizza

What do you do when you can't cook local food and you can't get ingrediants for your native food?

You make this splendid dinner.

J found a nice bakery that has muffins, cookies, and this flatbread that works quite well for pizza crust.

But we didn't have an oven yet, or cheese which is a must.

So the Pb and J came out and the kids raved!

Favorite photos of my recent adventure

Vange-isms

"Boog Boog" (we have colds around our house)
"Nack" (snacks are looked fwd to more than meals)
"Hot Coco" (we have been having a lot lately in this weather)
"I cold"
"coo coo" (chickoo is a special Indian fruit)


Favorite thing to eat: bread
Favorote thing to steal: batteries out of Daddies bottom drawer
Favorite nap items: binky and blankie
Favorite stuffed animal: the lil hippo Grandma got her
Least favorite time of day: diaper changes
Favorite attention getter: "bonk!" as she points to whatever she "might have" bonked to collect some sympathy

This little firecracker has got to do everything her sibs are doing. We have entered the MAJOR leagues in the tantrum department when she is not allowed a certain liberty. We love hearing the growing vocabulary she adds to our conversations daily. Tonight she entered the kitchen while I was cooking dinner and I handed her some trash and asked her to take it to the trash. So she did. Then I let her take napkins to the table to help her sibs set the table and she did that too. She proceeded to strut her pride in her abilities by walking and flinging her arms hautily at her side. She may be a spoiled one in the making but we love her so!

Some Firsts

Here is a list of First's that we have been experiencing in our household:
1 Cooking Goat meat
2 Making Goat meatballs with spaghetti
3 Finding out neither were goat but water buffalo
4 revertng back to birds and cooking Corn Flake chicken
5 starting a Google search for recipes and seeing this pop up half way through as top "how to" searches":

how to:
get pregant
download you tube videos
lose weight
impress a girl
kiss
hack facebook account
develop road safety culture
gain weight
download vdeos from you tube
hack a gmail password

Whatch out you Facebookers and Gmailers, there are hackers on the loose!
6 Hiring someone to clean my tiolet
7 Cooking by candellight
8 going to dentist in 7 years
9 getting a cavity filled
10 not leaving the house without my modesty items: bangles, head scarf, nose ring
11 consuming 3 jars of 40 0z. each of Peanut Butter in less than 3 months
12 automatically answering my husbands questions in another language

A dose of India = a dose of honesty

I'll be honest tonight.

If I had a twitter update to give you it would say something like "I'm cursing like a PG sailor". Well, not really. I am only saying "freakin" as an adjective about every OTHER word.

Our new life here has SO many adjustments that waves, sometimes Tsunami's of "culture shock" come crashing in. Pretty sudden, sometimes feirce. This one's a mildly sized wave. I'm not quite sure how it snuck up on me. It's not like I am not happy. Josiah and I are doing very well. We joke and laugh throughout the day. We are more affectionate than we were in the states because any affection is forbidden outside of our home. It's nice.

But India still wears on me. At least when I get heavy doses of culture that clash with my own. I find myself thinking "This NEVER happens in America." I know, that sounds pretty ethnocentrically snotty. But it's true. And that is one thing about this culture that I will embrace, people will tell the truth even when it sounds horrifically rude or blunt. And they will ask ANYTHING.

How much did you pay for your new fridge?
Why doesn't your kid like me?
How much money do you make?
What kind of birth control do you use?
Why won't you pay me more?

and the list goes on.

But to give a "buffered edge" I will coat my complaints in the context of "You know your in India when..."

1. You know your in India when you order three pieces of furniture to be delivered today at 5pm and they come at 9:30 pm three days later.
2. You know your in India when the newly arrived furniture arrives all beat up from the rickshaw ride over.
3. You know your in India when only 2 out of the three pieces of furniture arrive and one of them is not the color you ordered.
4. You know your India when the managers says it will be promptly delivered tomorrow morning, only for tomorrow be a holiday and no one shows up, and you have to call back and ask about it 3 days later.
5. You know your in India when the delivery boy wants you pay a delivery fee AND a fee to carry it into your house (even though he brought it up an elevator most of the way).
These next one's may surprise you...
6. You know your in India when you are wearing 3 pears of pants, 2 pairs of socks, 3 shirts and a down jacket under your 3 blankets in bed because it's in the mid to upper 40's in your bedroom because there is no insulation or heating system.
7. You know your in India when your husband has to go buy three space heaters because the low tonight will be 38 degrees.
8. You know your in India when they get plugged in and start heating up the room, the circut box overloads and catches fire and all your power goes out and your newly bought heaters are useless.
9. You know you are in India when you are not surprised because everything else in your house seems to malfunction within the first week of moving in.
10. You know you are in India when you fall alseep every night to the sound of street dogs barking and howling for a few hours.

Those are most of the reasons why I am feeling "short fused" tonight(except that my fuse box in real life just melted). I just had one too many straws that broke this camels back.

Stay tuned for when I am over it and I have a list that shares with you the things I love about India. Because, if I'm being honest here, I do love things about India.

Malachi-isms

 

"Arwyn, I have a heart that loves you" - chi

Me: did you know that God kows you and loves you more than I do?
C: I want you to know me more.
M: He knows everything you think, everything you feel, everything you will do and haven't done yet, everything you do when you think no one is looking.
C: you mean he saw me when we where in the restaraunt that I just got my toy at and IF I stood in the corne and took my pants off, he saw that?
M: DID YOU TAKE YOUR PANTS OFF?!?!
C:I'm just sayin.

a little later in the same conversation...

C: How does he see all that?
M: I dont't know, He is God so He is able to.
C: I think he opens the clouds and peeks down.